Thursday, December 3, 2009

Asshole Charles

Tito is a trip. He speaks a language of golden slang. Either you are a big John or asshole Charles or something else that blows your mind. I am glad that he is my friend.

I went to Sandy Kim's photo show/book release tonight. I'm sure it was great, but I couldn't really see the pictures because there was probably 300 people squished into a tiny room. While Girls was setting up to play, I squeezed my way to the back, bought a book, ate a delicious cupcake and squeezed my way back out of the gallery. I will go check it out when it isn't the opening. But for now, I will thumb through the book and continue my daily check of the lovebryan site.


Jacob & I... big time.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The best part about No-Shave-November: The hairy canvas at the end. Here is the work of art under my nose.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

This was in front of a shopping center with a Starbucks, an old car museum, a plastic surgeon, and some upscale restaurants and apparel stores. However, it was lovely to watch the sun set into the swan/duck pond while the yuppies sipped lattes and passed us in their BMW's.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Hollowdays.

I gave up on birthdays a long time ago. I get uncomfortable and feel selfish when I am dragged into the center of attention. I usually turn off my phone and try to hide. New Years has always been a let down, and Halloween recently has fallen into that category. It is an evening with a lot of expectations pumped into getting dressed up, hammered and waiting for some sort of magic to happen. This year, Thanksgiving has been etched into that list of false hope. With family 3000 miles away, it's difficult to get excited about fatassing a huge meal, falling asleep on a sofa and pretending I didn't do that last weekend. So to shield myself from disappointment, I have my apartment to myself, a 4 track recorder, some left over pizza (maybe), and cable on demand (and two 30 Rock episodes I haven't watched yet).

At 26, Christmas still has magic. And until someone can try to prove to me that a fat man doesn't actually climb down my chimney with a bottomless bag full of presents, it will continue to be my favorite day of the year.

Columbia, South Carolina I will see you the evening of December 21st through the evening of January 1st.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

One thing I will miss when I leave this city is the view from anywhere. Standing in shitpiles along Van Ness, on the red rocks in between Castro and Haight, on a rooftop in Nob Hill, on Treasure Island looking from bridge to bridge... San Francisco is the most beautiful place in the world. Period.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

"my weekend" - by jordan


This is a terrible picture, but necessary to illustrate the caliber of the event at hand. This is the judge panel from the New York Night Train Friday the 13th Soul Clap & Dance Off. Here you are looking at the host, Ian Svenonious (Weird War/Scene Creamers, the Make-Up, Nation of Ulysses), followed by the panel of dance contest judges: Ty Segall, Karla Lavey (founder of the 1st Satanic Church/daughter of Anton Lavey), Sam Green (director of "The Weather Underground"), Irene Hernandez-Feiks (Chillin Productions), Matt Gonzalez (Green Party)... Also, Jello Biafra was one of the guest D.J.s.

This is one of the better pictures from the dance contest. One lucky winner took home $100. Despite the top notch indie celebrities present, I still feel like the G.C.S.P.S. spins sicker, funkier shit and I would have easily traded the happenings of that night for a Sindoolah party at the Whig (but in San Francisco...). Columbia, you guys have something good going on. Cherish it.

Outside the bar, Jose was helping some intoxicated friends catch a cab. He caught a limo. The driver said $25 for all of us, but the drunk party took too long to agree and he drove off. Jose shouted "there goes our white stallion!" to his friends and we had to take puke-stenched owl home.

Adrienne's sister came into town, and her parents surprised everyone and flew in as well. So we spent the day hanging out. Then that night we went and saw POINT BREAK LIVE!!!

If anyone gets the chance to experience this, don't miss out. $25 for a ticket, but worth atleast double. A great time was had.

I waited for the cable guy. Now I have internet and cable. And HBO. Then got pizza with Patrick McLaughlin. On my way home, I was maybe hit on by a tweaked out foreign guy. He kept asking about "the thing" then asked if we were going to my house or his. Then a fat drunk homeless guy in a Santa hat couldn't stand up and puked on the wall of a bus stop. Now I am home (without the foreign guy) and it is time for bed.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

After over a year of living here, I have finally found a couple of bars that I somewhat enjoy going to. One is called "Grandma's". It is across the street from my house. An old ex-military guy runs it and takes really good care of the pool table. They also have a sweet juke box. When I went to go put some money into it, he said "just to warn you, there is no rap or heavy metal." I took a gander and it was filled with old Stax compilations, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, Warren Zevon, Johnny Cash... pretty much a cluster of soul and country. I put in my dollar and could faintly hear my song in the background. When asked to turn it up, he said: "I can hear it just fine." I have been venturing other places, too, and feel as though my social skills might be coming back. So hooray for alcohol and the ability to talk to strangers!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Bleakend at Bernies.
This guy vibed me hard for filming. Granted it is his house, but that is definitely the most unwelcome I have felt at a punk house.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


I took this picture in Oakland last night at about 1 AM. I was alone and trying to figure out how I was going to get back to San Francisco with no cash, a messed up ATM card that only works in Bank of American ATMs, and no real knowledge of Oakland's geography. I turned the corner on to MacArthur only to see a shadowy someone walking towards me. She looked around to make sure no one was watching and then stuck her hand into the deep pocket of her windbreaker. After noticing the look of accepting my certain fate, the sketchily approaching middle-aged woman started laughing and said, "I'm just playin' I ain't gonna fuck wit you!" She laughed a lot, but I don't think pretending to pull a gun on a lost white kid in Oakland is a good practical joke.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Three days ago I realized how out of shape I am. Monday morning I got out of bed, which required the motion of basically doing one sit up. Since then, I have felt like I finished a week of ab ripper x.

Only I haven't. I have sat at a desk, snacked and done basic math.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Best job ever: I was asked to be the photographer for the Mr Roboto Presents 2009 Halloween Party/costume contest.

To view all of the contestants, go here.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

One of the biggest perks of San Francisco is the public transportation. Never again do I have to worry about too many drinks and a long way home. I just hop on the L Owl and get off at my flat. But for some reason I always decide to go home around 12:30, and the Owl usually doesn't start making its rounds until after 2. So I sit on a curb at Church and Market, talk with homeless people and try to kill time/not fall asleep. I keep a nice stash of paint pens in my bag, and every now and then I drunkenly draw a quick little picture on the rail, or on the sidewalk. Usually hands, feet and weather rub it away within a couple of weeks, but this little guy has been hanging out for over a month now. Its permanence makes me feel bad for contributing to the wave of shitty paint pen graffiti, but it makes me happy that it is there (though it is kind of sad). Part of me really hopes that it is gone so I can draw something happier next time.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Another one from the Blue Angels practicing for the airshow that got canceled.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

October 23rd, 2009 - Bottom of the Hill - San Francisco, CA

Toro Y Moi - "Blessa" (live in San Francisco) from Jordan Bee on Vimeo.


When I took this picture of Chaz on a big stage all by his lonesome during his sound check, I joked about captioning this photo: "Toro Y Moi playing to a sold out crowd." Then the show started, Bottom of the Hill sold out, and he was actually playing to a sold out crowd.

Despite how briefly they were here, having Chaz, Heather and Sam in town made for a really amazing time. I hope they come back soon.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

America the Beautiful: HOTDOGS from Jordan Bee on Vimeo.

In my high school Art I class, the teacher's daughter would come in and help teach during her fall/spring breaks from film school. This was always the easy escape from endless still life drawing sessions. The only problem with this assignment was that the teacher's daughter was a total square. The rules of the film project were: no horror movies, nothing funny, and no acting in your own movie. We thought those rules sucked, so we made a movie about hot dogs taking over the world. But so we didn't fail, we made it "artsy" and told her it was a about consumerism and society's obsession with products. We got an A+.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

There was a pretty bad thunderstorm yesterday, so driving to work took 45 minutes. I also had a headache. When I walked into the office, I saw 2 donuts on a plate on the table. I cut one into 1/4ths and ate a piece of it. It turned out it was a bacon donut, and a really long hair was stuck to it. I gagged.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thursday, October 1, 2009

"Every Which Way But Loose"

Watched this last night:

This movie has everything: Clint Eastwood, a Nazi motorcycle gang, crooked cops, country music, a sailor-mouthed elderly woman, and an orangutan drinking and hanging out at strip clubs. Highly recommended.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

skateboarding and love songs

the summer between 11th and 12th grade from Jordan Bee on Vimeo.

Since skateboarding is such a personal symbol and joy and freedom, it makes me sad that this video also of the first time I got dumped. Well, sort of. I had a crush on a girl. And like anyone should do to show their strong feelings, I made her a tape of all my best skateboard footage to the soundtrack of my favorite song (Neutral Milk Hotel - "Naomi"). We hung out for a month and then that was it - she cut it off when school started back up. So I did what anyone suburban kid should do to cope, and got my mom to get me an 8-track recorder and wrote a bunch of sad, sappy acoustic guitar songs.

I thought I only made one copy of this and gave it to her (you know, so it's extra special). But apparently I knew that was a dumb idea and secretly made a copy and hid it somewhere because I found it when I was moving to San Francisco. I can look back now and cringe at my bad style and butt sweat, but I know that it would take me forever to land a lot of those tricks today.

So the moral of the story is: beazies got snakes for brains.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I invented a game that I only play when I drink. I don't really recommend it. It is called...


When I am peeing, I try and realize that perfect moment to flush so that the water will begin it's rise just after I am done peeing. Then I can just walk away with no slightly yellowed water. Unfortunately, I am not very good at this game and it usually becomes me flushing as soon as I start peeing and then panicking... then accepting defeat.

Adrienne bought me a bottle of Chimay Grand Reserve. As a result, our toilet water is green (she upper-decked it with blue cleaner stuff).

On an unrelated note, Pat Wall visited me this weekend, and it was one of my favorite weekends since moving here.

There is something irreplaceable about the comforts of home that can only be enhanced in new surroundings. I have done a bit of traveling with Pat ( and some of the best times I have had are with him in various parts of the U.S. (unfortunately the two of us more-or-less spooning in the back of my Honda Element in Lexington, Kentucky to an audience of a family of four staring into my car window in a Holiday Inn parking lot is undocumented). This made my new home that may never feel as home-like as Columbia feel a little more comfortable, and I am so happy that he was here... and I encourage any potential S.F. visitors to come say hello.